Radio Shack

Had to get a new Network Interface Card for a computer at Morseland. Here is the dialogue I had with Bob, a 50-60-year-old Radio Shack drone.

me: I need a network card.
bob: (holding up a PC-card [formerly PCMCIA] notebook wireless adapter) Here's one.
me: Oh, sorry, not a wireless one.
bob: oh, okay -- not a wireless one. let's see.... (he holds up a USB wireless adapter) here's one.
me: That's a wireless card.
bob: Oh, right. Oh, (he holds up another USB wireless adapter) here's one.
me: That's also a wireless card.
bob: Oh, right. Let's see. Joe? Do we have a network card that's -not- wireless?

Joe, the manager, or assistant manager, or whatever, is in his 40s and has the same strangely gruff voice and mannerisms as Bob does. He's looking at a woman's iMac. He has Bob come over to pull the iMac out of its box and hold it up so that the woman can point to something on the back of the machine. She is asking about "the plug that goes into this hole." Joe says, "Oh that? That looks like ethernet." Except he pronounces 'ether' as 'eth-er' instead of 'ee-ther'. Like Beth. Or death. The woman says that the cable company is coming to install "a cable modem or something." Joe assures her that the cable company will bring the proper cable for the eth-ernet.

Finally, another dude goes into the back and gets their last remaining PCI non-wireless ethernet card. Bob says, "I don't know how much it costs." I say, "I'm guessing it's going to be $20."
Then their pin-pad dies as I swipe my credit card. It just goes all dark and Spanish. I tap it a couple times, but get no response. Bob looks at me like I've broken it. Finally he figures out how to 'wipe the card' himself, all the while, Joe is there heckling him. When he finally succeeds, Joe says, "Nice job, Bob!"

And I decided that Radio Shack is...well, unsurprisingly, a little outlet of hell and even though I promised Bob that I'd come back soon, I don't think I'm going to visit again, if I can help it.