which wins today? tough to say. not sure how i'm feeling. it's all friendly now ("You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.") and not sure how i'm feeling. obviously everything's okay -- and i haven't really lost anything... i lament for the future opportunity. i lament....


well i have to ask myself some hard questions.


fuck it, you know? i mean : who am i to say that i'm not doing just fine and dandy? i AM. it's not as if there's anything painful happening....just nothing nothing happening. no idea what it is that my head is looking for. what kind of space it's right now wanting to be in. it's not fucking talking, except for all the fucking time it's blabbering.


motherfucker!
damn head.