she could have written anything and i would still pick it apart and wonder and question and think to myself, i am fucking my own head -- all this time i thought thought thought it was someone else and now it's just me.

doing myself in the head.

the amount of noise around me is insane. the amount of noise inside me is insane. the amount of noise that i actually make is incredibly minimal.

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i think because i'm a "poet" or having had poetic training, i can never write a simple journal entry where i say "Today I got this email that fucked me up and here is what it said..."

Instead it must be cryptic and useless.