talk about the dreaded Monday being Tuesday

talk about shaking my fist at God

talk about seeing things the same way at the same time

talk about nothing at all -- it's not worth it.

travelling dreams last night - driving backwards to the airport, trying to get a message on my cel phone, traffic hell and cathy. woke up disoriented (as usual) and disconcerted (as usual) and so it goes -- sleep is no respite from my thoughts and only serves as gasoline on the fire that is my morning head trip.

and then jealously, greedily upset by....everything.

fighting major wars on two fronts like the US military -- but these two wars are both unwinnable. at least i've deployed troops, though. like it's some sort of simulation, war-games, practice run...

and i was thinking last night that hey, a couple months ago, i was this close to actually being allowed to be with somebody. and all the negatives of that experience weren't because of me, but because of the big fellah that is now uncomfortable around me -- he must be smarter than he looks, or else he'd just take care of it all by pounding me one. and that leads one to believe that he's not such a bad choice after all -- he has displayed some sensitivity. starting to respect this guy, even though i've never been introduced to him ::pointed glare::