Saturday, November 24, 2007

Best Spam Ever

Black market is online again !

1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET,
you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.
6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.
7. Also, as always, we offer widest range of child pornography and exclusive lolita
galleries, to keep out clients busy.

Everyone is welcome, be it in States or any other place worldwide.

ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prepay your batch of rockets (air-to-air) and recieve a portable rocket-lacuncher.

For security reasons, please email me if you want to get address of our online shop.

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Great spam

Hello my friend!

I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (http://fathersay.hk) are bad.

Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

My dog and I are still alive :)

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Monday, March 05, 2007

stuff...

i will never be as eloquent, nor as prolific as.... some other folks/i once was. it's just the way it is. i compose a hundred entries in my head, but they are never written. many of them are too personal for public consumption (and yet, if i write them down privately, there will be no audience, so what's the point?) and the rest...well, i'm just too lazy.

so there comes these intermittent blasts of babble.


1) i've discovered that there's still a lot of bad stuff that i thought i was done with, but that i'm not. things that still make me angry that i figured wouldn't. and bad habits that i have that i really should have broken....

2) funny dreams recently: shot twice in the side, police show up, ask what happened. "I've been shot!" "Oh yeah?" replies the cop. "What was the shot made of?" My answer: "Bullets!" Also a dream in which I worked for a company whose name I could not remember and it felt like I hadn't been to work in a really long time (much like my recurring high school or college "I haven't been to class all year, how am I not going to fail this" dreams). But I'm at the office, clearing some crap out of my desk, walk the receptionist out and I have two umbrellas whose design, in my dreams, is just brilliant. Plus, I am walking like a speed skater, my right foot turned 135 degrees. It helps on the ice.

3) Movies: Lucky # Slevin, The Departed, United 93. All good in their own ways. All shocking in their own ways.

Anything else? Erin and I continue, unabated, caretakers of two insane cats, watchers of fun televisions and videos and such, both feeling kinda like we're floating about in our lives and both poised to do something about it.

Well, she probably is. I continue to pretend to be. Shh. Don't tell.

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Monday, February 12, 2007

A Dream

(Those of you who hate when people tell you about their dreams [like me, most of the time] can skip over this.)

Had a dream about Adam Hammerman last night. The great thing about dreaming about him is that he is now, by law, required to have a dream about me and then write about it on his blog which has a larger audience (I assume) than mine. Here it goes:

So I'm down in St. Louis (although it's not really St. Louis...though it could have been I guess, we were inside the whole time) visiting Adam. We're hanging out in this strange series of tunnel-like finished basement rooms: Carpeting, wood-paneling, cheap-and-very-thin interior doors. We're walking from one room to the next when we hear someone coming down the hall. I decide we need to hide from whoever is coming. Adam agrees. We backtrack to the previous section of tunnel/basement and are giggling with anticipation of approaching silliness and hiding-from-people. Adam says something like, "We can't just stay here, we're out in the open." So we go into an adjoining room and partially close the door.

There, we are even more giddy with anticipation, literally jumping up and down. I think we were just in our socks. We're acting like we're 12. The footsteps approach, the door opens and it's....

This guy I used to work with at closerlook. I can't remember his name -- he was a designer. I think it was Dan. Anyway -- he comes in and greets us and seems to know Adam (though, to my knowledge, in reality, they've never met) and we chat a bit.

Next, we're in the same complex of underground finished basement rec-room tunnels, but in a larger space which also happens to be a cafeteria of some sort. There are tables and many folks sitting around. We're seated at a table. Adam gets a call on his cell phone. It's my friend Jon Cates (another person Adam has probably never met, though Jon's originally from Belleville, which is very near St. Louis) and they are chatting up a storm. Jon is somewhere else (not Chicago, not St. Louis, I think perhaps Detroit). Adam says, "Yes, I'm hanging out with Adam Altman. We're having fun...." (It's funny, this connection between Adam & Jon Cates. Thinking about it afterwards, I realize they would probably have a ton to talk about in that they are my two outside-the-box critical-thinking performing friends....)

The call ends. Adam gets a text message from yet another friend of mine that he likely wouldn't know, John Kamplain. I attempt to read the message over his shoulder, but he is being secretive. The part that I do see reads (I'm paraphrasing here, of course): "Adam -- the reason I like hanging out with you is that your iron stomach allows us to try all sorts of new foods..."

Which brings us to the finale. At a table nearby, there is a gigantic insect thing. It was 8 legs, wings, a nasty looking tail. It's terrifying. It's also translucent. It's also about as big as my hand. Perhaps a little bigger. I consider warning the people at the table when the thing takes off, flies in an arc to a couch on the other side of our table. It then flies to behind the couch.

I then wake up and have several moments of fear or gigantic insect-type things and whatnot.

So there it is.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

More Norleans

I realize that we beat them but and there really is no point to this, but I'm surprised that the NFL hasn't adopted a model similar to the MLB's for their websites where all content goes through a central filter.

This is some of the worst sports writing ever:

"New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees' 88-yard touchdown pass to Reggie Bush in the third quarter to put the Saints within two points at 16-14, is exemplary of the abilities of the Black and Gold's top ranked offense during the 2006 season.

The play on second and five marked the longest play in NFL history in a conference championship contest. It also continued to show the big play abilities of Brees and Bush. In 2006, the Saints QB led the NFL with 41 completions of 25 yards or more. Bush also showed his proficiency in the passing game in the regular season as he set an NFL record for receptions for a rookie running back with 88 during the regular season. This also marked the longest play of the year for Bush and the longest touchdown connection of Brees' career."

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

neworleanssaints.com

just a sidenote -- yesterday morning, i checked out neworleanssaints.com just to see what that site was saying about the bears-saints game and was surprised to see that there hadn't yet been an update about the game. i understand that the team, the fans, and the city were all heartbroken, but the official site of the team hadn't bothered to post anything about it. if, for some reason, you were unaware of the outcome of the game, you would be forced to check some other place for the information.

and today -- i check it again. there's still no readily-apparent recap of the game, but there is this incredibly poorly-written article about saints fans greeting the team upon their return to new orleans. it's filled with the kind of typos, grammatical errors and poor formatting that make me shocked and surprised that someone got paid to write it....

more stuff and stuff

so. the bears are going to the super bowl. it's kind of a funny feeling -- i imagine people in new england are dealing with a similarly displeasing and unfamiliar feeling of "the pats aren't going to the super bowl" (and i know one particular new englander who feels that weirdness). it's been 21 years.

i remember watching super bowl 20 in the basement of mom's condo in columbus, taping it (where is that tape?), watching with her. hadn't yet moved to chicago, but still got caught up in the fervor. i must not have seen any of the bears games that year.... my only experience with professional football was limited to the bengals or browns and there wasn't much of that.... growing up in columbus meant you need look no further for quality football than the buckeyes.

anyhow -- here we are, two years removed from the white sox championship, 10 years removed from the last bulls championship and 21 years from the last super bowl. i guess when national titles for major sports come so far apart, it's tough to really know how you're supposed to feel about it. during the two 3-peats the bulls pulled off in the 90s, we got a little used to the winning. no danger of that happening any time soon.

that said, lou pinella is taking the cubs to the world series this year.



in other news: there isn't much of it. i haven't managed to run much at all lately. but i'm still at my target-ish weight (170.5). i haven't touched illinoir (the story or the .com) of course. how could i? it needs so much work. still waiting to hear back from other people who have received copies.... the recent fervor of working on this site and other public faces has diminished. i am, happily, working on a new dinner & a movie poster for morseland which should appear in the gallery section sometime soon. and then i'll get to do a super bowl party poster which should be fun. perhaps i'll be able to reuse that old saturday football flyer i started, or something like it....

and a morning that started with a dozen emails to send has narrowed down into an afternoon with no messages coming in at all. i guess everyone else left their computers while i stayed...alone...at my desk...

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

2k7

happy new year • tacos (again) • the end of the home movies marathon and once again, the final scene with brendon's camera getting trashed hits me right here • the return of "Birthday" and my rational desire to kill my upstairs neighbor and my much less rational desire to travel back in time and kill the Beatles before they can record the song • a turn to Family Guy episodes • a new year's day brunch to die for • Pan's Labyrinth • intense return to FFXII, big fat nerd • the first run (2mi) of the new year • some strange emails • some wacked out weather (gracias, El Niño)

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