because they have forced me to paint myself into a corner, be frustrated beyond belief, wipe dust from my desk, cower in fear, close my eyes, live in darkness, hold my stomach, bend my arms, stretch my back, sleep on the floor, flee in terror, cross my i's and dot my t's, bend over backwards, take the extra step, take the extra advil, challenge myself, push myself, lie to myself, be myself, hurt myself, hate myself....


....i scream "fuck you" under my breath....